Guest Grinder

You want to know what grinds my brother Poop's gears? Well he wants to tell you:

"You know what really grinds my gears? Wet towels... When you wash your hands and then go to dry them on what should be a nice drying device and it turns out to be a soaking wet towel... Who leaves a wet towel on the oven rack? Talk about a shock to the system!"

Thanks for sharing Poop.

Tina Fey

You know what really grinds my gears?

Tina Fey.

This woman seriously bothers me. She ruined SNL. It could be the worst thing on television. HOWEVER, she invented a hilarious show, 30 Rock (But I really think it's more Baldwin that makes that show, not her). It's like she's out to sabotage anything that wasn't hers to begin with. I just want my Saturday night laughs back, Tina, is that too much to ask??

Anti-Santas

You know what really grinds my gears?

Anti-Santa's and Scrooges.

Parents who don't "do" Santa because they feel the need to be "honest" about everything in this world, you SUCK. Where's the magic in that? And people who nag on Christmas. Honestly, who cares if you're Christian, Jewish, Atheist, Buddhist, Tom Cruise, etc, what's so wrong with family getting together and enjoying each other's company and children believing that there really is a man who knows if they've been good or bad? What is so wrong with lights and stars and garland and big beautiful trees decorated with presents underneath? What's so wrong with smiles and happiness? If you can find stuff wrong with any of that, then don't even bother. I hope you don't recreate. Bah Humbug to you.





For all those who do believe: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slow turners

You know what really grinds my gears?

People who take right turns at negative 5 mph.

Don't you hate it when you are cruising down the street at 40 and the guy 50 feet in front of you puts his turn signal on and slows to a mind numbing 5 mph to take a right turn and even though he was 50 feet in front of you, you STILL have to put your breaks on??? I sure hate it.

T-Bell

You want to know what really grinds my gears?

When Taco Bell isn't open when I'm going home at 3 in the morning. Shouldn't T-Bell be open 24-7?? I think so.

Guest Grinder

You know what really grinds my friend DJ's gears? Well she wants to tell you....

"Oh and you know what really grinds my gears?? People who use facebook as an emotional outlet. You know people who get into a fight with someone and update their status with something like this: "so and so IS really sad about life." Pick up the phone and call that person don't broadcast your emotional feelings to 22,000 people who look at their mini feed daily. I really feel like it wastes my time. And as if changing your status wasnt enough...oh no you have to change quotes and interests to something of this nature, "strength and time will get me through this.." What type of nonsensical BS is that? I dont care that you got in a fight with "Mary," so stop indirectly putting a damper on MY DAY because you had a fight! Ya that really GRINDS MY GEARS!"

Thank you DJ for the insight.

Non-identical identical twins

You know what really grinds my gears?

Identical twins that don't dress the same.

Identical twins are the only people that can get away with dressing in the same outfit in public for no special occasion. So, why don't they do it? I don't know either. It pisses me off though. You guys aren't called "individual people who look the same," you are called identical twins. You are clumped as a whole, so you should dress the same, everyday.

Bloggers

You know what really grinds my gears?

People who write too much when they blog.

Your life gets pretty boring after a while.....

Ugly girlfriends

You know what really grinds my gears?

Really hot guys that date really ugly girls.

Ref Pants

You know what really grinds my gears?

The new NFL referee pants.

*This is to follow up another NFL related thing that grinds my gears.* They look like 1970s European-style track suit bottoms. Seriously. They are ugly. They have to go.... but not until after the game is over.

NFL network

You know what really grinds my gears?

The NFL network.

It just sucks.

Memorizers

You know what really grinds my gears?

Book smart people.

I'm so glad that you have a photographic memory. While you're in the library taking one mental snapshot after another, I'm out on the streets, yo. Word.

Talkers

You know what really grinds my gears?

People who call instead of text.

Why deal with all of the: "Hey." "Hey." "What are you doing?" "Oh nothing, what are you doing?" "Not much. What did you do today?" "Just worked. You?" "Yeah, same. Do you want to go see a movie a 8?" "What movie?" "Oh I was thinking maybe Enchanted." "Ok, where is it?" "It's at the Boulder theaters." "Do you want to meet there or should I come pick you up?" "Oh I don't care, why don't I meet you there." "Ok, see you at 8."

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. It pained me just typing all that bullshit out.

With a text you can accomplish all of that in less than 160 characters: "Hey Enchanted at Boulder theaters 8, meet me there?"
Perfecto!

Update

You know what really grinds my gears?

Ok, ok, so I know I said on my VERY first post that people who don't know how to spell do not grind my gears. But I guess even I, oh holier than thou, do lie sometimes.

When you are sending out something en mass, just go ahead and do yourself, and all of us, a huge favor and spell check the "difficult" words (ie ridiculous, absolutely... etc etc).

This was a Facebook group I was just invited to join. As flattered as I was, I could just NOT join knowing that I was then going to be clumped in with a group of girls who think they are pretty and who can obviously not spell. No thank you.

Waking up mid dream

You know what really grinds my gears?

Waking up in the middle of an amazing dream.
Last night I had a dream that I was in love with Justin Timberlake and that JT was in love with me too. And not only was it JT, but it was curly haired 16 year old JT, the first man I've ever loved. We were about to get it on, when I woke up. Talk about Blue Balls... GOD DAMN!

Tar Heels

You know what really grinds my gears?

Tar Heels.

These are my reasons:
1. What the hell is a "Tar Heel" anyway? Wiki it and you'll find that "most experts believe its roots come from the fact that tar, pitch and turpentine created from the vast pine forests were one of North Carolina's most important exports early in the state's history." So what they're saying is that THEY don't know what the hell a "Tar Heel" is either....
2. They hate the Duke Bluedevils.
3. Most of all...... I LOVE the Duke Bluedevils. (Therefore, I hate the Tar Heels).

Chuckle

You know what DOESN'T grind my gears?

Yes, you read that correctly. Today something doesn't grind my gears. And that something that doesn't grind my gears is my roommate (soon to be ex-roommate), Smart's, laugh. It's more a chuckle. And it's hilarious.

Stupid fucking cat

You know what really grinds my gears?

My kitty. She can be such a bitch sometimes.

Narcissism

You know what really grinds my gears?

Boys who stare at themselves in the mirror forever. I dated one--- it was awful. I also have a friend who does it, PJ, and I want to kick him in the shins for it.





While I'm on the topic, you want to know what else grinds my gears?

People who take pictures of themselves in the mirror. That's just weird.

Raiders

You know what really grinds my gears?

The Oakland Rapers... I mean Raiders..

I hate them. That is all.

Don't hate the high life

You know what really grinds my gears?

People who think they are better than the High Life, or the "Champagne of Beer" if you will. Miller High Life is easily the greatest thing God has ever given this green earth. Don't give me bullshit about it being cheap or bad. It's cheap and AMAZING.

Party poopers

You know what really grinds my gears?

People who don't like to party. Like JKirsch. Who cares if he's been "better" lately. He still sucks.