Everybody has bad days.....

You know what really grinds my gears?

Kanye West's comment about Chris Brown.... "Can't we give Chris a break?...I know I make mistakes in life."

Yeah Kanye, I make mistakes also. I laugh too loud, I forget to pick up the kitty poop out of my roommates' shower drain, I forget to wish my mom happy birthday.... I don't beat the living doodie out of my friends/significant other. No, I will not give Chris a break. And I will never give you, Kanye, a break for being an uberdouche either.


Kitty's poop (yes, Jill took a picture of it):

EFFFFffff Lent

You know who really grinds my gears?

My two partners in crime, the other legs that make the tripod stand, the other two parts of my heart to make it whole, 2/3 of the three amigos, me + them = the Trifecta..... etc you get the damn point. Well they grind my gears.

Why? Why would my besties (ha besties sounds like testes) grind my gears? Well Sam, he's loud (like me) and doesn't give a fuck. And lets the world know he doesn't give a fuck. By using the word, 'fuck' a lot.

And Kerry, she doesn't give a fuck either. She can sit at a grown up restaurant and drop f-bombs like Kamikaze planes in WWII.

I curse a lot too. I do. But I've realized that we have gotten so numb to the fact that we use such vulgar language because no one ever tells us to stop. So for Lent, I'm telling myself to stop. I am giving up cursing. Kerry tells me I can't participate in Lent because I'm not Catholic. Shut the fuck up Kerry, I do what I want, it's my hot body. And others tell me I'm supposed to give something up that I treasure and value just as Jesus gave up his own life. Well guys, I like to act like a drunken sailor and run my dirty mouth, so this will be difficult.

In order to survive 40 days and 40 nights of clean-tongued banter I need to learn some 'clean swear words.' Here's what I've gotten so far:
-Dagnabbit! (You wascly wabbit!)
-Motherflower! (What the fuck is a motherflower? oh. I get it. that just doesn't express the same feeling though.... )
-Geeze Louise (Actually already one of my favorites, will continue to use in excess)
-Good Gravy (YES! will use this one)
-Arsehole (Does this count?)

Well friends, wish me luck and if you have any new 'clean' words I can use in situations of stress, anger, sadness, enthusiasm, or well, ect, please let me know. Now for my last hurrah.... FUCK SHIT COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER CUNT FLOPPY DONKEY DICK UNCLEFUCKER SUCK MY BALLS ASSHOLE PUSSYDICK BASTARD BARBARA STREISAND!!&*($#()!!!!

Osama Pen Laden X2 .... or just a Wordle

Today I really wanted to post about Sean Penn winning the Oscar and how he used his time on stage to go off on a political rant as though he was on a soap box instead of just thanking people and celebrating the monumental achievement. Brad Pitt should have won, even though I refuse to see his movie because it gives me the heebie jeebies. But he would have thanked the beautiful Angelina Jolie and his millions of children which would have taken up so much time he wouldn't have had time to go off on an uneducated, partisan tangent.

Sooooo.... INSTEAD of going off on all of that, here is my most recent Wordle. My language has improved since the last time :)

This ain't good

You know what really grinds my gears?

This shit and shit like it:I hope Chris Brown and every other lowlife who thinks it's ok to hit a woman goes away for a very long time.

Almost doesn't count

You know who really grinds my gears?

Clippers forward Zach Randolph.

Homeslice straight up popped my buddy* Louis in the face!


How dare he? After the Phoenix 140-100 victory last night Ran-dork excused his foul play by saying, "He...almost kissed me in the mouth, I just pushed him out of my face." Well, as we learned from Brandy in the 90's, almost doesn't count, but a left hook to the kisser does.


*Louis is really my brother's friend, but I've hung out with him a couple of times therefore he falls into 'buddy' category, so there.

Let's GO BOHS!

You know what really grinds my gears?

The Boulder High School Student Worker group who proposed to change Boulder High's name to Barack Obama High School.

Again, I know I'm late, but again, I have a job and they've been watching me like hawks, those buttheads! (Oh and bt dubs, I've decided to give up swearing for Lent and even though it doesn't start for another week, I'm practicing now.... more on that later).

These kids thought it would be 'super sweet brah' to change the name of the oldest and most history rich school in the entire state. All of this reminds me back when I was SBP of BHS and had to make press releases saying that the school body does not support nor endorse the talent show group, 'The Tali-band,' whom made threats against Georgie W's life. I really think these kids don't get enough attention at home. Their ridiculous, immature, and ignorant acts of 'defiance' are just cries for help. HEY HEY HEY MOM!!! Look at me! Please pay attention to me!!!


On kind of a side note, take a look at the picture of the kids in this 'radical' political group. They are just a bunch of normal looking 16 year olds. TLittle and I were discussing how much they've changed over the years. When I first got to BHS and TLittle was a senior, the Student Worker kids were all grungy and wore flannel. By the time I graduated they had dreadlocks and wore tie dye. Now they're Abercrombie/hip vintage T wearing prepsters. They look like the San Fran so called 'progressives' if you will. It's become so mainstream to be 'radical' and to be frank, it bores me. Bring me back the oppressed hippie/grunge kids! Those are the ones that really make a difference in this world!

Let's play a game... if Boulder did change it's name to Barack Obama High School, what would be the mascot? Best/most creative idea gets a cookie!

Oct-diculous

You know who really grinds my gears?

Nadya Suleman, the baby loving, welfare takin', new mother of octuplets.

Nadya must be trying to get a show on TLC to rival John and Kate Plus 8 and the uber Christian 17 Kids and Counting crew. (Bt dubs, no one can fuck with J&K+8 those Gosselin kids are the shit). I can't understand why else someone would want to have 14 children that you can't afford! It's one thing if you're Angelina Jolie and you want a whole villiage of exotic children because your kids have a father figure (HOT one mind you) and all the money in the world. It's a whole other thing when you're living off food stamps and 3 of your 6 older children's disability checks. She says she doesn't want to have any more children, I don't believe her, so I think someone should snip her tubes.

Speaking of snip, how the hell did she afford her Michael Jackson-esque plastic surgery but can't afford groceries for her family of 15? Smells fishy to me.....

A-Rizzle

You know what really grinds my gears?

This whole A Rod steroid controversy.

I know, I'm a little late on the topic, but I HAVE A JOB PEOPLE!

Anyways, I know it sucks, it does. But I never liked the guy to begin with so this doesn't really change my opinion of the poor sap. And nothing is going to come out of it since he was using when it was technically 'legal' so let's just drop it for now, yeah? Come on folks, this is old news! If you're even half the baseball fan that I am (which honestly isn't even that much) then you're used to the bullshit the MLB has been dishing to fans for years. Sammy with his corked bat. Mark and his juice and now nonexistent records. 1972, 1981, 1985, 1994 strikes. Black Sox Scandal. Pete Rose and Barry Bonds. Need I go on?

I know it's 'cheating' to use anabolic steroids to increase strength and get ahead in the game, but if I'm paying $130 to sit in the 3rd deck, then I at least want to see some guys who can really fill out those tight pants and knock the ball a mile high at Coors Field.
Besides, the guy's head can't be completely screwed on tight.... Anybody who finds evil bitch Madgeonna attractive and boink-worthy isn't all there.

Free Motivation

You know what really doesn't grind my gears?

The funny 'de'motivational posters that are all the rage these days.

Today Jules reminded me how much I like them by sending me a link to a bunch that I had seen before, as well as some I hadn't ever seen. Enjoy my favorites:
This one made me literally lol.I don't know what's better, the shirt that got mauled by a bear or the fact that this guy got caught.This one got a good old OMG out of me.
I love the Power Rangers.
I don't know why this one got made into a 'Motivational Poster' but nonetheless, this picture has always freaked me out. They stole the words right out of my mouth: 'Seriously, WTF.'

hahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaahahahahahaha fuck yes. I love this one.

We used to have a dog that would try to drink from the sprinkler.
I'll keep a seat warm.
I wish Kitty was this cool.

It could happen to you, too.

Retractable roof? Why not.

You know what really grinds my gears?

The fact that I'm stuck inside on a 70 degree+ day in Boulder, Colorado on February 5th and my office doesn't have a retractable roof.

I feel like if the Diamondbacks can have it at Chase field, why not us? They probably take for granted the fact that on nice days they get to be outside because it's their JOB. I wouldn't mind being in the office all day if there were birds singing and a soft breeze blowing with the sun shining above me so I could at least get a tan. I want that! I would use that! Why can't that be me?
I think my boss appreciates innovation and creativity, so I plan on putting a proposal together and including the photo above for consideration. I'll tell them they can cut my health insurance if it will help with the cost....

No, I'm in a hurry and I really don't give a shit about the baby seals

You know what really grinds my gears?

The pseudo environmental clipboard people that stand on the corners of The Hill and on Pearl Street and ask if you have a minute for the environment

First of all, I know, it's a cliche grinds my gears topic, but it had to be done. Second of all, I call them 'pseudo' because they're not actually environmentalist, they're just kids looking for part time jobs that pay $10/hour. They don't really give a shit if you care about the trees in the Redwood Forrest either and probably wouldn't give you 5 minutes of their own time if you asked.

Also, I think it's so silly how they ask people my age for our time. I mean, they want money, that's all they really want. Dude, have you looked in my cabinet lately? Ramen and Safeway brand pasta. Honestly, I would love to help those psycho/awesome Whale Wars guys ambush the Japanese and end whaling. But I would also love to buy Kitty some wet cat food, it would probably make her shits not smell so bad.