Julie is a bitch

You know who really grinds my gears?

Julie Powell.

Who's Julie Powell? Well many more people know who she is than she deserves. She is Julie from "Julie and Julia," the heartwarming true tale of a young wife who has never finished anything in her life and decides to cook all 524 recipes in Julia Child's cookbook in just one year.

Sounds like a nice snowy Tuesday night in, right? Well that's what my friend Kyle and I thought after we watched it while snowed in (on March 23rd... yeah, YAY Colorado... bleh). "What a great movie!" "Oh, I'm so sad she didn't get to meet Julia Child." Blah Blah Blah. Just two girlfriends sitting on the couch recapping a cute chick-flick....

Flash foward one day later. We both decide to do a little research on the whole thing because we wanted to make sure that Julie never met Julia. Turns out Julie has a second book out, about an AFFAIR she had while MARRIED to her cute, supportive husband! What a bitch! This chick is FUG too, I mean, she should feel lucky that one guy wants to pork her and not push her luck by seeking out extra attention. I hate her, she is selfish, obnoxious, and she hates America (I think....).

So what doesn't grind my gears is that Julie never met Julia because Julia would be ashamed that her name was being used in conjunction with such a filthy whore. SHAME on you Julie Powell, shame on you. Julia Child is a saint and to think you deserved to meet her or that your name should be mentioned in the same breath? It's absurd. Go guzzle some more cum, slut.

Yes. I'm angry about this one.

Cheese Fairy

Three months almost to the day and here I am, writing again.... I don't even know if this is the best outlet for what I'm about to tell you all, but I had to get this out there and this is the best forum I know.

You know what really DOES NOT grind my gears?

Apparently I have a cheese fairy!

I got up from my desk today to go get some tea (I have a bit of a sore throat today, though that's not really an excuse considering I do drink tea everyday) and when I returned there was a whole bag of Mini Babybel Bonbel cheese wheels! I don't socialize with very many people in my office so I don't think people really understand my love for cheese. I mean, the other day I went to a Spelling Bee(r) at a bar and on the sign up sheet they asked me what my favorite thing was and naturally I wrote cheese. I LOVE CHEESE. And I'm not afraid to say it. It's my one true love. It's never cheated on me, moved to Texas, or stared at another girl's ass. It's good to me, and in return I'm good to it. I love to eat cheese with pretzels, on sandwiches, in burritos, cheese in soup or even cheesy soup, I mean I can eat cheese on/with anything, even if it doesn't make sense to you laymen.

So this brings me all to the obvious conclusion of the mysterious bag o'cheese: I have a cheese fairy. And yes, it's ok to be jealous of me. I'm kind of jealous of me.